"How are you feeling?" Someone said something. Words. They were real—and not imagination. Soft voice. Concerned even. And then something touched my face.

I flinched moving away. It was dark. Darkness was gnawing on me. I wanted it to stop. I wanted everything to stop. More importantly, I wanted the trembles in my hands to stop. I felt like I was drowning. Something was holding me down. Killing me slowly. So slowly.

I was scared. And nothing was helping. He'd come back, his eyes screamed he'd be back.

"Sera?" My only reply was a muffled sob as I dug my palm against my mouth. "Talk to me, please."

The voices grew louder, gentle but persistent. There but drowned in the clatter of my terror.

I couldn't focus. I couldn't breathe. I wanted to breathe.

To rip through my chest and squeeze out my lungs with bare hands. My heart pounded in my ears.

And when I thought, I was reaching the bottom of the dark ocean, strong hands grabbed my shoulders and pulled me towards them. 

I screamed, thrashing wildly. The darkness was closing in, suffocating me. I was drowning, being pulled under by unseen hands.

Panic surged through me like wildfire.

"Stop!" I gasped, clawing at the air, my vision blurring with tears. "Please, stop!"

"Sera!" The voice was louder now, more imperative. "It's me. It's Ivan." 

The name barely registered, lost in the darkness. The hands on my shoulders held firm, but not painfully. They were grounding, preventing me from spiralling further into the abyss.

"You're safe," Ivan's voice broke through the haze. "He's not here. He can't hurt you."

I shook my head frantically, unable to process his words. "He'll come back," I choked out between sobs.

"Look at me, Sera." His tone was commanding but laced with concern. "Please, just look at me."

With immense effort, I forced my eyes open. The dim light revealed Ivan's face, tensed, his soft green eyes locked onto mine. 

"I told you I won't let anyone harm you," Lips curled, my heartbeat slowed for a second as I stared at him. "Let me, please."

I needed him to remind me we were in reality, and there were no monsters. There was no darkness, there was no ocean. And I was not drowning. I was at the shore instead of in the middle of the ocean, falling, sinking and sinking, and there was no bottom.

Gentle fingers ran along my jaw, and I flinched at the touch, recoiling and pulling myself away to look out the window as I took deep calming breaths.

I had lost myself in the impulsive catastrophe of fear. And now that I was gaining my senses back, I realised how weak I had been acting.

Take a deep breath, Sera.

I reminded myself and felt Ivan still staring at me. I could see the flicker of his shadows in the window pane. His jaw was clenched tight, and so were his knuckles. I swallowed hard. I should've felt contempt and relieved at his presence, but I was anything but that. Maybe it was the fear that made me paranoid to the point I couldn't look at Ivan the same. It was too much, and to my horror, I hadn't forgotten Alina's words, and neither his as he practically gaslighted me into thinking he was my protector.

It wasn't like I was ungrateful to him.

I was indebted. I truly was. But that didn't change the fact that people could be terrifying when faced with their demons. 

Darkness would always reveal their true nature.

Ivan may not be as psychotic or terrifying as Judas and that stranger, but he was wearing a mask. I noticed it when Alina pointed it out. His smiles no longer felt assuring to me, and neither did his gestures. It felt like there was reason behind everything he did. Calculative and precise.

Even now, as I turned around to face him, his eyes flickered between the green I used to adore and the emerald- darker and mysterious, settling back before to its original colour. My eyes didn't miss how he carefully unclenched his hands, ran them through his chestnut hair, messing them up, and his lips curled in a smile that should be comforting. 

"I'll take you to the dorms." Same nonchalant voice. Mastered tone. Words that should make me feel at ease.

And I absently nodded watching, reading as he smiled again and turned towards the steering wheel, his hands wrapped around the wheel and other on the gear. His body seemed taut, but the smile didn't falter, as if he didn't want me to see beyond that.

Ever since I encountered Judas, I had come to realise people were like two sides of the same coin. People were unpredictable.

There was always the side they showed the world—polished, appealing, designed to fit in with societal expectations. Superficially appealing, charismatic, and manipulative with their words- the face Judas Romanovski wore in public, the persona everyone respected- feared.

But then there was the other side—the side he kept hidden, the side I had seen a glimpse of, the raw, unfiltered truth of who he really was. Cruel. Heartless. Maniac.

The duality terrified me.  

I had seen it in my parents, who smiled and spoke gently to me while hiding the cracks in their marriage.

I had seen it in friends, who laughed and joked with me and talked behind me.

I had seen it in myself, the way I projected a happy exterior even when I felt anything but.

I had seen it in Ivan.

This realization had made me more cautious, more guarded.

I shouldn't take people at face value. 

I shifted in my seat, the leather squeaking softly beneath me. The silence between us was heavy, a tangible force that pressed against my chest. I wanted to ask him so many things, to break through that barrier and see the real person beneath.

But I bit my tongue, knowing that some doors, once opened, could never be closed again.

The car came to a stop and I prepared to step out, I knew I had to keep my guard up. The man beside me might appear friendly and relaxed.

I reached for the door handle as my eyes almost burned with the tears I had been trying hard to keep at bay.

Ivan didn't say anything, and neither did I as I stepped out, I cast one last look at him to find him already looking at me with a stretched smile. I couldn't afford to forget that there was always another side to every coin.

I stumbled like a numb person.

I didn't know how I managed into the room.

There was definitely crying and some blurry visions as I strangled the door open. But the persistent feeling was the constant fear.

I shook my head.

Thinking about the stranger was the worst step I could take.

To my relief, when I entered the dark room, Alina was not there. Only made me think she must be out since it was Friday night. I didn't know how I would've explained my dishevelled state, messy hair, teary eyes, and red face to her. Even if I managed to, what would I have done myself to stop throwing myself at her? At this point I needed a human contact, someone to run their hand down my back, soothing me.

Another wishful thinking.

I sank onto the edge of my bed, the silence of the room pressing in around me like a suffocating shroud. My thoughts swirled in a dark, chaotic mess. I felt the sting of everything that happened.

Everywhere I looked, there were reminders of the emptiness that had taken root in my life.

The discarded book on the nightstand, the unmade bed, the lonely glow of my phone screen as it pinged.

I wanted to scream, to cry out for help, but my voice felt trapped in my throat, strangled.

I curled up on the bed, clutching a pillow to my chest as if it could provide some comfort. But it was a poor substitute for the warmth. My tears soaked into the fabric, and I trembled, feeling more lost and vulnerable than I ever had before.

In moments like these, the darkness felt most oppressive, the pain most acute.

The gap between what I needed and what I had was so vast that it seemed impossible to bridge. I lay there, consumed by my misery, feeling as though I was drowning in a sea of my own despair, with no lifeline in sight.

❁

I stared at my phone in horror. 

Unknown: Careful, kitten.

My heart nearly exploded from my chest when I read the words again. Icy fingers wrapped around my spine. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the screen, my mind racing with questions and dread.

This had to be a joke, right? Or some sick prank someone was playing on me. Because there was no way... that stalker had gotten my number, right?

Who was this? How did they get my number? What did they want?

My first instinct was to call someone, anyone, but I hesitated, realizing I had no one to turn to. The isolation I felt deepened.

I tried to steady my breathing, but the fear was overwhelming, suffocating.

I glanced around the indoor basketball court where the fest was going to take place, half expecting to someone, anyone looking at me with a grin on their face saying it was a joke.

I typed a response with shaking hands, then deleted it. What could I say? Who was on the other end of this message?

The colourful decorations and the buzz of people setting up for the fest felt unreal, in contrast to the fear twisting inside me. I scanned the faces around me again. But all I saw were busy students. 

A cold sweat broke out on my forehead.     

My heart pounded so loudly that it drowned out all other sounds.

Calm down. I reminded myself.

Suddenly, my phone buzzed again, making me jump. I stared at the screen, dread pooling in my stomach.

Unknown: I see you.

My breath hitched. I felt as if the ground had been yanked out from under me. My eyes darted around the court, desperate to spot someone, anyone, who seemed out of place. But there were too many people, too many faces.

"Hey, are you okay?" A familiar voice broke through my panic. I turned to see Alina, her face creased with concern. Her dark eyes narrowed.

I forced a shaky smile. "Yeah, just... I'm feeling dizzy."

She frowned. "Is everything all right?"

"Y-Yeah... I guess it's just the... work getting to me."

My breath hitched. I felt as if the ground had been yanked out from under me. My eyes darted around the court, desperate to spot someone, anyone, who seemed out of place. But there were too many people, too many faces.

Before Alina could press further, someone called her name. We both turned to see a girl in a bright pink sweater and skirt with black fleece stockings beckoning her over.

I gave Alina a reassuring nod, hoping she would go without asking more questions. She hesitated, casting a worried glance my way before heading towards the girl in pink. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves.

The fact that I couldn't focus on anything these days was more concerning.

I had a stalker.

My boss was a heartless demon.

And the man I thought was my friend was being suspicious.

I wanted to pull my hair, but since I didn't want to go bald and end up looking like an overcooked egg, I refrained.

Another ping and I looked at my phone in horror expecting another warning, but instead, it was from Kyle.

Kyle: Take a day off tomorrow, Mr. Romanovski will be busy.

I stared at it. Then blinked.

Once.

Twice...

It wasn't going away.

That meant it was a dream or my imagination.

I zoomed in and let my lips curl in a smile. Fantastic. I didn't want to face that brute too. It was as if god heard my pleas, and I'd be able to attend tomorrow's fest with ease.

❁